On TOP of the World!

"To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with." 

-Mark Twain

Happy is an understatement. Joyful beyond belief would be putting it mildly. Butterflies that sit permanently in the pit of your stomach and an enormous smile on display for the entire world to see. Imagine the most blissful feeling you have ever felt, and multiply it by one hundred . . . I feel this every single day. It sounds insane, I know, and I never imagined I would be lucky enough to have someone in my life that makes me feel so upbeat and carefree all the time. I feel like I'm one-in-a-million in his eyes, like there are no other girls even in existence.

I met Dustin when I started working at Down Under Pub in May, and there was always something about him that drew me to him. I always enjoyed his company as a friend, and I never would have imagined that dating him would be this incredible. After our first night out together, I knew there was a spark. There was a chemistry I couldn't explain . . . to this day I still can't form words to describe what has formed between us. Meant to be? Yes. Soul Mates? Absolutely. I never in a million years dreamed I would be able to say that about someone and feel like it was the God's-honest, 100% truth.

I moved into Dustin's house on Monday, and I know this is the beginning of something great. I love waking up with him right there, I love coming home to "Hey Baby!" and a big hug, I love his comforting back rubs and kisses when I'm worn out from a long day. He is wonderful . . . so good to me, and I can only hope he feels even a fraction of the love that I feel for him.

Could my life possibly get any better?

The Most Outrageous Family You Have Ever Met...

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.' Jeff Foxworthy
HA! This is too funny, because I can definitely relate that to my family. We are a bunch of nutcases... seriously. You know it's bad when you go apply for a job and the interviewer says "Oh.... you're a STRENGER?!" Greeeeeeat. Which of my uncles ruined it for me this time? 
I talk about my family like they are wild and crazy (which to some extent, they are) but they are also the most loving, caring, selfless people I have ever met. For instance, my uncle Greg, who I can definitely call my best friend, has literally dropped everything to help me out since I have moved back home. Fixed my car, bought me clothes for job interviews, taken me to dinner when there were no groceries at my house, bought me a gym membership, put gas in my car... you name it, he's done it. Brett has loaned me money to go on a mission trip to Mexico before when nobody else would even participate in the fund raiser! And when I say loaned, I mean he paid for the ENTIRE THING. I love my family to death and would do anything for them.
Recently, Greg has been helping me try to get a job at his office. They are in desperate need of an office manager and he submitted my resume to them. Of course, I have no office experience, but by some stroke of a miracle, they have called me in for a few interviews. Fingers crossed that I will hear something back this week! I would LOVE to get out of the food industry!! :)

Blindsighted.

You never think you will have to take a phone call like the one I took Friday afternoon. You never think, "Oh, someday someone is going to call me and tell me my mother has breast cancer." Obviously, I am not delusional. I know things like this happen everyday, but when it actually hits you, it hits HARD.

My grandmother had breast cancer and I was devastated, but is it weird to say that it hurts more when it's your own mother? There are so many questions spinning around in my head. Why her? She gets mammograms every single year, for goodness sake! What will happen if she doesn't get the same results as my grandmother (who survived and is completely cancer-free)? What will I do if I lose her...

She is my best friend.

She has an appointment tomorrow for a second opinion. I can't stress how hard I am praying that they were wrong. Those black spots on the last scan were a mistake. The previous doctors had no idea what they were talking about. Praying for a miracle.

For those of you who are friends with me on Facebook, you will notice that I am no longer there. I have deleted my account because I am not prepared to field a thousand questions about my mother. If you have my number, feel free to text me. I would appreciate your prayers.

LOTS of prayers.

Kitchen Deprived...

I MISS COOKING. It has been precisely three weeks since I have been behind a stove and I am about to lose my mind. I've been so busy working that I haven't had the time or energy to devote into making a meal and that breaks my heart. I love to cook, and this is like a drug withdrawal. If anyone would like to open up their kitchen for me to come cook at 11:00 pm when I get off work, please let me know :)

The first thing I ever attempted to cook on my own was in high school... I was making chicken alfredo for my boyfriend at the time and I royally messed it up. I was in such a rush to finish because of his nagging, that the chicken was still slightly pink in the middle and the noodles were not quite finished. The sauce, however, was excellent.... because it was pre-made. Needless to say, our movie date turned into a sick mess. I have bettered my cooking abilities over time, and now I hardly even use recipe cards more than once. I love that I can easily remember what was in something even on just the second time making it. Mongolian beef, stuffed chicken rolls, southwestern eggrolls, italian soup, pork and shrimp lumpias, chicken cordon bleu... I could go on forever with my favorites...

On that note, I am looking for new recipes to try out. I have the same four or five that are my favorites, and it's hard for me to not repeat. I like to try and recreate my favorite things from restaurants, so any ideas would be greatly appreciated :) I have gotten pretty good at the Chili's Southwestern Eggrolls. I am moving back to Plano and in with my Dad in a couple weeks, and I feel like this is the perfect opportunity to test out some new things... home boy will eat anything.

Weirdo...

‎"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them in mutual weirdness and call it love." -Dr. Seuss


I LOVE THIS. I am one of the biggest "weirdos" I know and hopefully I can find someone of equal weirdness to fit with me. When I saw the quote, it made me think of my everyday little routines that seem like nothing to me, but may seem unusual to others... like the fact that I love to put ketchup in my mac-n-cheese. Who wants to date somebody that puts ketchup in their easy mac? Or the fact that I MUST have a glass of water beside my bed because I frequently wake up in the middle of the night in desperate need of it. Or that I have a strict "routine" when I'm showering... face wash, shampoo, conditioner, body wash. In that order. Every time. Or that I hate wearing socks unless I'm wearing shoes that need socks. Or that I frequently catch myself bawling in Disney movies. Let's face it- I could go on forever. I'm a very weird person. I need another weirdo to call mine.

Well, THAT'S awkward...

Embarrassing moments... I have plenty of them. Especially lately. It seems like bad luck has followed me around like a sad puppy for the past week, and the "Oh dear lord, that did NOT just happen" type of situations have been abundant. 

Thursday, I slipped on a wet spot on the floor at work... this was no ordinary fall. No, I didn't spill anything I was carrying (Duh! Don't you know me?!) but what happened was far more devastating. I ripped my pants. And not your ordinary little split. Hello customers, would you like to see my rear?? 

Told ya. Yowza.

Today, while doing my normal run on the Lunsford Trail around ACU, I was daydreaming about something and completely forgot what I was doing. Not paying attention, I ran smack into a guy about my age who was running towards me. He was quite a bit bigger than me, but the force of me running full speed knocked him to the ground. How unbelievably embarrassing is it to be a girl apologizing to a guy for knocking him over? Do I make a joke about it? "Oh excuse me, little boy. Seems my muscles and brute force seem to completely overpower yours! See you later!" I stood there looking like a complete fool while I managed to force the only two words I could think of out of my mouth- "My bad..."

Apart from those major incidences, there have been the minor awkward moments. Open mouth, insert foot-type comments seem to be my thing lately, especially yesterday. Luckily, knocking over the man on the trail has been my only misfortune for the day... and hopefully it stays that way!

The Ol' Singin' Days...

Sitting bored in my room today, I began to reminisce on my old performing days. In high school, my best friend Shelly Kennedy and I used to sing in country music shows almost every Saturday at the Wylie Opry. While I have never been completely thrilled with country music and its, for the most part, "I lost my girlfriend/dog/truck" repetitiveness, there were a few women artists whom I loved... usually for the fact that I loved their don't-care-'bout-nothin' attitudes and aspired to live my life in a carefree way as well.
Basically, this whole "show" was done in a little building in downtown Wylie, Texas. It was local performers who would sing with a band in front of a mostly over the age of 60, mostly blue-haired, audience and make a fair amount of money in tips while doing so. The first time Shelly and I ever watched one of the shows, there was a woman performing who almost made me turn around and run in the other direction. She was probably in her late 40's, early 50's, dressed in a long black muumuu-type dress, with frizzy, poorly dyed hair all array, and belting her heart out to an older Shania Twain song. Poor woman couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. The thought soon crossed my mind that this woman probably thought she was a good singer, just like I had always thought of myself to be. Contrary to this woman's assumed thoughts, the crowd formed their own opinion.... opinions which Shelly and I could hear being spoken aloud behind us.
"That poor woman. She must not be able to hear herself."
"Obviously. I'm going to tip her just because I feel bad."
"Yeah. Me too. Maybe we can pay her to get off the stage."
The next weekend, when Shelly and I were to sing in our first official Wylie Opry performance, that woman crossed my mind. Right as I was about to nervously force myself onto the small, hot stage, I realized I may not be able to sing as great as I've always thought I could. What if the crowd starts whispering about me? What if my tips are pity tips?! Unfortunately, there was no backing out now...
"And now one of our new first-timers! Please welcome to the stage, Taylor Strenger!"
Damn.
I don't remember at all what happened after I came out from behind the curtain, but Shelly's family showed me the video. I walked out with the most pained expression on my face, looking like a cross between nauseousness and squinting. What came next surprised me, and I wish I could remember what I was thinking. The band starts up, and my face completely changes. It was as if someone flipped a switch in my brain and I owned that stage. Belting out a less-twangy version of Miranda Lambert's "Kerosene", it looked like that person on the stage had been doing this her entire life. I could barely make the connection that it was me.
I do remember, however, when my songs were over and it was time for me to leave the stage, I collected my tips and walked backstage. If these were pity tips, they must have felt EXTREMELY sorry for me. I couldn't understand how people were so generous and all I did was enjoy myself (maybe?) onstage. Shelly had the same reaction. She was amazing, as always, and we sat backstage after the show gushing about how much we felt like celebrities. I loved those Saturday nights with her and I wish there was a way to re-live that. Coming to Abilene, there isn't anything like that... save from karaoke at the bars. No thank you.
Really, I was just thinking that if I had as much confidence about myself like I did in that video of my first time onstage, my life would be easy. I would kill to remember that moment and learn whatever was going on in my mind that night. Doing those shows always made me so happy, and the faded pictures from those days still adorn my walls. If only...